getting back to good

things are getting back to the way they were when he got out of treatment. it was all part of the relapse and we have figured out what we both need to do differently in order to avoid it again. he apologized for the comments he made (see previous posting) and said they were only said because he was in full relapse. it is extremely common (9/10) for people to relapse in the 30 days after leaving treatment although we were of course hoping he would be the 1 who didnt. as for the money issue, things were able to be worked out with the landlord and so that part is fine. he is now unable to have more than $20 at a time for now since it seems larger sums of money are a problem for him.

so, what are we changing? well, he has classes to attend M-Th 530-730 (thurs 6-8) and so we were having trouble getting dinner cooked and eaten before he would have to leave. apparently this was bothering him quite a bit as he felt less part of the family because of it. so, i am now getting off work at 4pm so that we can eat together as a family before he goes to his classes. we also eat breakfast every morning together before i go to work. he is also opening up more about his feelings and when he needs to talk he does. this is a big issue for him as he often holds things in until there is no more room for anything else. he is also attending meetings at least 5x/wk and is getting a sponsor. he wants me to try to come to his court on thurs at 430 and with the way my schedule is now (getting off at 4) i will be able to do this. we are sharing responsibilities for the house so that neither one of us is doing everything alone and so that we dont always have to do the things we hate. when he is able to start working (in the process of working on that again) we will adjust so that it is more balanced since we will both be working then. i am going to attempt to start going to my own meetings once a week if time permits so that i can better understand what he is going through. lastly, we are not going to talk about having another kid until he reaches phase 2 of the program. we had thought things were going well enough but perhaps that was just too much stress.

all of these things seem pretty small to change in order to avoid disaster. we are working on it and i think we will be stronger in the long run.

Another set-back

After being all excited about finding a job and all, found out that he was told on his day he was supposed to start that he cannot work there. corporate said they cannot allow him to be hired because of his background. so we're back to square 1 with the job and will continue to be in the hole with money.

he also relapsed and used our rent money for it. don't know what we're going to do to pay rent when we have only $100 left for almost 2 wks (just got paid too). i am told that the stress of our relationship was what caused the relapse. i had made a hard effort to not be so pushy since hes been back. i dont know what else i could have done differently. i have to start going to my own meetings because i am not going to be able to go through more of this alone. i hope things can get "fixed" and back to the way they were when he got out because i dont know how much more disappointment i can handle.

Major accomplishment!!

I wanted to be sure and let everyone know that my husband had a job interview today and is on his way to take a drug test (will definately be negative with everything else that's going on, read earlier posts). He has been offered a full-time job at Dick's sporting goods as a cashier for the day shift!! He should be starting work next week, now all we have to do is find out what to do with the baby for a couple weeks until he starts getting paychecks. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will finally be able to crawl out of our money hole!! :)