Rough month finally over

Well, we had a rough month with balancing work and time with the baby but it is finally done! He is home and doing very well. He has learned a whole lot of great things that probably would have taken months had he not gone inpatient. The schedule of when to get off work, cook dinner and spend a bit of time together during the week is a bit challenging right now but we're working on it. We are both very hopeful that this is the end of all that crap. We are both working on our communication with each other and learning how to fight fair, something we unfortunately never learned growing up. We have officially turned to corner on this and although it may be difficult along the way, we are ready and willing to give our best to make sobriety work for the whole family. Will write more later.

Recovery update

sorry i havent had the time to update this as often as i wanted but i felt like it is important to all of those few who read this and know whats going on. i have to say that the inpatient treatment was EXACTLY what he needed. he is 1000x better than he was before going in and i think this is a great start to the rest of our life. he is still wanting to come home but also understands why he is there and that he should get the most out of it so that when he is discharged he can function as a relatively normal adult and parent. that is not to say that this is the end of the road. i'm sure there will be bumps along the way but this has been a very life changing experience for both of us. with me, i realized that i have lost sight of who i was with all of this and that i had some issues that i needed to deal with individually. i can say that i am coming along. i am now more aware of my looks and take the time to do my hair and makeup before going to work or out. i have done quite a bit of cleaning in the house and plan to have the entire basement unpacked before he gets home. not sure if thats going to happen, though, since he could be home as early as the end of this week. also, found a 9-drawer dresser in great condition for $25 at a garage sale this weekend so i have to repaint that to match our bedroom furniture. all of that along with being home for the maintenance people to fix our water problem and back and forth to the inlaws to pick up/drop off the baby will definately make me a busy person. all of the "free time" has been helpful to get things done that havent really been touched since we moved in so once thats done there will be a lot less to do and the place will look like what i wanted finally. back to him...i visit almost every day for an hour and each visit gets better and better. the person i married is back and here to stay. the asshole is out of him and i am EXTREMELY happy about that. we are both happier even though we are apart (and that's not why we are happy) and i think i can see the end to all of this crazy bad luck that we have had for the past 2 solid years. we are trying to make new friends and on my end it has been a little slow. i have been talking more with coworkers but thats as far as it has gotten at this point. i think if i had more time i could be farther with that but first things first. i want the house to be a sanctuary for both of us to let go of all the stress throughout the day instead of the place to harbor it. i am on the way to that and will continue to do so. my whole life i have been pretty pessimistic about things but i am becoming more optimistic now. i am thinking about going back to school for my masters when we can afford it. well, gotta go for now. quote for the day: the way to true happiness is paved with sadness and disappointment because you would never know true happiness without first knowing sorrow. by: me :)

Hard road to recovery

He is still in treatment and will be for almost a complete month. It seems to get harder and harder each day for him because he wants to be home more than anything. It isn't like he wouldn't do the program when he's out. I know though that this is what he needs. If he could just get over the feeling that it's unfair and that he is being mistreated he could have a pretty big breakthrough. When you are dedicated to recovery 24hrs a day its a lot more condusive to actual healing since there are no distractions. The problem is that he creates them. He is shutting down because he is falling into depression again and they will not give him his medication to help it. I don't understand that but feel like this is the way they do things for a reason. They are the professionals and know what works and what doesn't. If witholding psychiatric medication is what they do, then that's what has to be accepted. I am having trouble making him understand that. I am not doing things against his wishes because I don't care. It's because I don't want to stand in his way of recovery. I want him to be better and I realize that I had a part in why the last time he tried to get help didn't work. I will not do that again. I hope he realizes that I am only doing this to help. Right now I'm a little bleak on my outlook and am pretty lazy when it comes to doing things around the house. I thought that I could take this time with Joli at his parents for the few days she is to clean the house and get it to where I think it should be but that is going much slower than I expected. I think its because I work 10hr days and then visit for another hour. By the time I get home I am just too exhausted to even look at the dishes that have been washed and just need to be put away, the 1 load of laundry that I have been putting off that is soon to become 2, the numerous boxes of "junk" in the basement that have never been unpacked due to both laziness and not really having anywhere to put them. I did, though, get Joli's room, the hallway and the stairs vaccumned last night and I put the dishes away this morning before work. I think that tonight I'm going out so another day that I can't get anything done. Oh well, I guess that's just how it will be. Anyways, I have to cheer up or I just won't get through this. It is really making me depressed to be without both of them. I am alone with the cats. It is giving me some time to work on my issues myself but I feel like that's all I have been doing with the little free time I have had.