better outlook, day 2

so i think i much like the way i have felt the past few days. this new outlook on things has really began to start a dramatic change in me. i think i have been gradually getting to the way i am now since high school when i lost ALL my friends during the same week because of my ex- at the time. i am pretty sure thats when i lost the ability to really be myself and make new friends. i am still having trouble with that at this point, over 10 years later. but, i think i am on the way to getting back to who i am. today was food day at work and i actually stayed in the room to eat with my co-workers (the 2nd time i have done this since starting to work there in sept of last year). last month i just ate and listened to everyone else talk. today, i didnt quite get to talking too very much but i did include myself in the conversations. i feel like i am fitting in better. people recognize me and talk with me that would never have done so before. i feel like i am getting a bit of respect from my fellow workers and it really feels good. some people know my name that i dont really remember theirs (whoops!). i guess what i am trying to say is that an outlook in life can get into everything. i am going to pick myself up and become more optimistic so that i can better my situation easier. i think im already on the way there.

to my husband, i am sorry that i have been taking my frustrations with myself and our situation completely on you. i didnt know what else to do and now i understand where i was wrong and what i need to do to fix things on my end. cheers to another good day.