things are getting back to the way they were when he got out of treatment. it was all part of the relapse and we have figured out what we both need to do differently in order to avoid it again. he apologized for the comments he made (see previous posting) and said they were only said because he was in full relapse. it is extremely common (9/10) for people to relapse in the 30 days after leaving treatment although we were of course hoping he would be the 1 who didnt. as for the money issue, things were able to be worked out with the landlord and so that part is fine. he is now unable to have more than $20 at a time for now since it seems larger sums of money are a problem for him.
so, what are we changing? well, he has classes to attend M-Th 530-730 (thurs 6-8) and so we were having trouble getting dinner cooked and eaten before he would have to leave. apparently this was bothering him quite a bit as he felt less part of the family because of it. so, i am now getting off work at 4pm so that we can eat together as a family before he goes to his classes. we also eat breakfast every morning together before i go to work. he is also opening up more about his feelings and when he needs to talk he does. this is a big issue for him as he often holds things in until there is no more room for anything else. he is also attending meetings at least 5x/wk and is getting a sponsor. he wants me to try to come to his court on thurs at 430 and with the way my schedule is now (getting off at 4) i will be able to do this. we are sharing responsibilities for the house so that neither one of us is doing everything alone and so that we dont always have to do the things we hate. when he is able to start working (in the process of working on that again) we will adjust so that it is more balanced since we will both be working then. i am going to attempt to start going to my own meetings once a week if time permits so that i can better understand what he is going through. lastly, we are not going to talk about having another kid until he reaches phase 2 of the program. we had thought things were going well enough but perhaps that was just too much stress.
all of these things seem pretty small to change in order to avoid disaster. we are working on it and i think we will be stronger in the long run.
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It seems as even though you have ups and downs, in your relationship, you are what he needs. Your much stronger then you may think for hanging in there. Many peole just would have given up. Your a good person Jess. Hope Jolie is doing well, tell Shaun I say "hi", and happy really belated 30th birthday (yikes two months already!)
Have a good weekend.
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